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You Named Me

from Scambot 1 by Mike Keneally

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VII.

A banner ad pops up and interrupts Scambot’s fervent typing:

“Saugatuck’s latest drive-in burger sensation – STARS ON WHEELS!,”
blares unwanted audio from the laptop.

“This week: Steve Landesberg! Judge Judy Sheind- lin!! They scoff...they skate...bring a burger, on a plate...right to your car window! CHOMP!”

Weird: in the center of the ad is a slowly rotating red circle that draws Scambot in, deeper, deeper, further...he blinks twice and finds himself, as an adult, sitting motionless in his schoolboy circle of fantasy.

Alone. He sees his classmates through the window as they exit the school grounds, hopping into family cars and yellow buses. His attempts to join them fail; he can’t leave the confines of the circle. Ophunji’s head materializes in the sky above Scambot.

Ophunji: You know who I am?

Scambot: I’ve seen you. Yes? I’ve seen you! In a dream? In...in dreams?...no. No, I don’t know who are you are.

Ophunji: Not just in dreams. No. THIS is a dream though. Ahmmm...no, it’s not. You know who I am?

Now they’re in a bright blue peoplemover ride choogling through the town, bumping up and down big humps in a train track, in and out of buildings, circling trees, way up in the sky. Ophunji throws his arms up and wide.

Ophunji: Wheeeee! (looking around) Mötley Crüe played here last night.

Scambot: I need water.

(He hoists up a large crutch, pulls off the rubber tip and drinks from it, then looks closely at Ophunji.) You NAMED me, didn’t you?

Ophunji: Oh. Promise me. Don’t. Please. I need you.

Scambot: What?

Ophunji (angry, hissing into Scambot’s face): I NEED YOU.

Two extra pairs of eyebrows sprout from Ophunji’s forehead. He stares at Scambot for over a minute as his neck throbs. Scambot = alarmed.
Ophunji calms himself, finally, by closing his eyes and quietly singing the chorus to “Rock You Like A Hurricane.” The bonus eyebrows retract. He cricks his neck a couple of times, leans into Scambot’s face and says softly: “POOOOOF.”

Scambot flies backward out of the peoplemover, upward into a glowing banner ad in the sky that sucks him in and deposits him back on his computer chair. Still staring at the rotating circle on the monitor, he shakes his head to snap himself out of it and clicks the ad away. No memory of the past couple of minutes.

Ophunji smooths his jacket back in his office, and considers his next move.

credits

from Scambot 1, released June 15, 2009
Me on instruments; most of the keyboards were recorded in 1999 at Lyle Workman’s Rec Room, engineered by me with assistance from Lyle.
In 2008 at the Manor, Mike Harris recorded Jesse Keneally on vocals, and me on guitars and more keys.

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Mike Keneally San Diego, California

Mike Keneally has been a lot of things in his 35 year career: stunt guitarist/keyboardist, singer/songwriter, orchestral composer, producer, music director, painter, and more. After getting his start in Frank Zappa’s legendary 1988 big band, Keneally released his first solo album hat. in 1992. Since then he has released dozens more and is working on a new double album.

Learn more at keneally.com ... more

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