Ohhh… Songs and stories from Scambot 1.

Ahmmm…Ms. Loring...yes...please send a telegram - forthwith, if possible...to Britches Naboo of Bugscuffle, Tennessee… AND… appraise him fully of his delinquent payment condition… THANK YOU, my dear… OH, and please infect the telegram with a spying compulsion virus - I’d like someone to keep an eye on the neighbor to his immediate north… TOUT SUITE, please… thank you dear. La-doo-day! RAINFOREST TREES. May I see the printouts, please? The printouts? (This? This? This? This? This?) THAT. This is very important! You can’t ABSORB things from a computer screen! The words bounce off you like sprinkles! I need them on PAPER...paper...from RAINFOREST TREES!

Why would I dream, would I dream, would I dream it? Why would I dream, would I dream, would I dream it? That was a story that got into your head and stayed there. Ah, ah. Who writes these things and why would they write it? Who writes these things and why would they write it? Whoever made that story up wouldn’t know a moral if you stabbed him in the kidney with one. One. One.

Yes, well… You know it’s true… Your father, my father, everyone’s father, they didn’t - were not concerned with… ...concerned with...FEELINGS, and… They were concerned merely with getting the job done! You got the job DONE, you... you woke in the morning, you hated your life and you did what you needed to do. And that’s why the economy was so robust! It was ROBUST! You kept your dark feelings and your self-doubts submerged, and things were accomplished. The economy was robust, and… ...people didn’t get mired in inertia like all the, the losers do nowadays. It was better then, things were much, much...much...much...much...better then. Otto! Turn up the television! Yes, dear.

(The theme from the television program Scambot Brought to you by GAS) These mountains are covered in mist! In this big, cloaky, interlaced shroud which binds us palm trees together Don’t let your amethyst twist Oh ah, ah oh. Oh ah, ah oh. O! This, our island existence! In this big, messy, crazy, beautiful explosion of creative inquisition Please don’t give a kind kid resistance. Oh ah, ah oh. Oh ah, ah ahhhh, ah oh. Because it’s...SCAMBOT In infinite space Hoping to learn what his problem is SCAMBOT Now in your face Some screwed-up entertainment for you, entertainment for you… It’s SCAMBOT! It’s SCAMBOT! SCAMBOT! Face, with him, a variety of dangers, and emerge slightly scathed! SCAMBOT! Experience, with him, feelings you can’t name, define, can’t describe or analyze! SCAMBOT! Don’t be so ‘fraid ‘bout the higher higher things you don’t under… STAN’, BOT! (Joyous villagers sing:) That is delightful Creative Insightful That is delightful Creative Insightful Clear shining lightful We ate it, a bite-ful Clear shining lightful We ate it, a bite-ful Those! Those were the thingses that all of us villagers craved to know! Ha ha ha ha! (Ha ha! And, ho!) This is delightful! Creative! Insightful! Join hands with me, you fellow villager, as we all dance around a major landmark in the center of our town To the joyous sound Of… (the sound of SCAMBOT)

I may have said everything I have to say in the solo of the last song Now I’m waiting for someone else to speak up

She told me to get out of her car on the freeway She couldn’t stand to hear another word I looked at the lights a-shinin’ on the freeway And I walked and I walked and I walked Then there was the time I told her not to touch my Korn tapes She looked at me completely stunned I said by no means lay a finger on my Korn tapes And she walked out And I know we were together But all I can remember now are Shadows, flashes No names, no face, just shadows, flashes And one broken chair A fire-pisser stands, hands on hips, a-pissing fire If I said I know what that’s all about I’d be a liar I think – I KNOW I walked for hours down the freeway (hours) I remember lights and there was garbage near my feet (hours, hours) A truck, and that it took me forty minutes (hours!) to cross the street And… I know we were together But all I can remember now are Shadows, flashes Shadows, flashes Shadows, flashes Shadows, flashes And one broken chair

In the case of you vs. me In the case of car vs. cow In the case of dog vs. tree Just in case I’ll tear myself open While the kitchen delivers you stew Delivers you stew Delivers you stew The grip of the patriot’s pen is pliable, giving “Dear sirs – I know my neighbors know, and they must be silenced Dear sirs – I know my neighbors know, and they must be silenced” Fore! Try it on! Doin’ it, doin’ it, doin’ it ohhhhhhhhh You knew it. You told me so. Sometimes I sound like I knew what I’m talking about Even worse: sometimes I feel like I know what I’m talking about Well I’m sorry, yes I’m sorry ‘Cause I just want to cry Almost all the time (Thank you God Whatever you are I love you Thank you I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry) Moving forward means clearing out Our scars serve us, makes it hard to let it go - Samskaras travel with us at death – resolve! When you want to clear bigger areas Go in and look around and decide if the things go with the theme, With your purpose Do I love it? Do I need it? Put him up on the chopping block! He’s a no good kid! Stick him up on the chopping block! You won’t believe what he did! What was that he tried to take? Can’t believe what he did Clouds of darkness form and break What a no good kid “There’s a little good in everyone” I like that story you tell! “Give him time, he’ll surprise you” From what you say I surmise you haven’t run into this kid Cuz he’s a no good kid “But you’re looking for the bad thing Every moment of every day What do you expect, roses? Bringing it on yourself Bringing it on yourself Bringing it on yourself Bringing it on yourself etc.” Bringing it on myself Bringing it on myself I’m looking in every shadow Like I’m looking for a friend What do I expect? I’m bringing it on myself, bringing it on myself No good kid No good kid You could leave a message scrawled on a wall For endless generations to come! You no good kid You no good kid You no good kid You bandit! You pilgrim! You! I’m all sorts of evasive action! Eight ways of saying “look over there” Crankin’ on workin’ on what I’m TRYING to tell you Makes me laugh, how hard this is These diversions and marginal thoughts Wanna throw up the shutters and hit the LIGHT… sayin’… Yes, we’re open Hi, we’re open I know it’s taken a long time It shows that you’ve waited a long time But now I’m open (Hey everybody Let’s all have ourselves a good time A good time No false hope No despair Let’s have a party everywhere We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time We’re gonna have a good time etc.)

(mumbling) I fall Everyday I fall And I’m tall Ha-ha! Tall as a sprawled, mauled… Let all that poison leak out of you It murders you on your feet You don’t need darkness and doubt in you I have this thought, friend I need a blunt pen: 1 – get more ambitious and less pretentious 2 – stop doing crack 3 – free your mind and breathe ten times Oh, oh. Make your dreams manifest, oh. Oh. Ah! Let’s run to the water (Phil & Jim’s Phil & Jim’s Phil & Jim’s Phil & Jim’s etc.) I have a thought ta Let’s go to the water That’s where we’re brought ta If that’s where we should go, well I’d go! We don’t we just go! Oh! We will saturate the world with with with with with with We will saturate the world with with with with with with Awesome awesome awesome awesome, oh! Oh! I’m struck with horrible doubt! What do you know – I am too! I know just what we should do – let us go into this bar!

Some crazy mishap as a plane taxis in the snow towards its arrival gate. A string of baggage carts goes flying like beads.

(manipulated gibberish, and words I can’t make out anymore) Ouch my finger, ouch my finger, ouch my finger (many words here that I can’t make out anymore, I’m sorry – I’ll keep looking through my notebooks and stuff, or maybe I can get into the multitracks and check it out and we’ll update this later if I figure it out...this song is really freaking chaotic, wow...) Scambot is bitten by a tiny red bug – a tiny red bug – a tiny red bug… ...and eventually meets the committee of gods for whom the bug is an emissary...the coma is not a coma! Everything which seems to be happening, is! Is! Is! Is! Is! Is! Is! Gnineppah eb ot smees hcihw gnihtyreve gnineppah eb ot smees hcihw gnihtyreve! And it’s caused him to, to um...black out a major expanse of his life, uh, from between eight years old and the present day. Ah oh ah oh ah ah oh ah oh ah oh ah oh ah ah ah... That’s laudable! No, it’s a lotta bull! That’s laudable! No, it’s a lot of bull! Ohhhhhhhhhh oooo.

What did you see? Can you remember? Fever gripped your baby head, can you recall a stately procession of dinosaurs, cats, God’s seahorse, your favorite ball? What did you think when the dinosaurs joined forces and staged a little passion play at the foot of your bed? Shake off the sweat which gathered in your slippers when fever gripped your baby head. Baby, baby set my soul on fire. Look at me. You and brother do not have to worry ‘bout a thing. I’ll bring the candy corn that rights the wrong existence, that less elegant reality which don’t make nobody sing. These’ll be our clothes for walkin’ ‘round in the night air. If life’s a joke, it’s very, very good. But if you were to make starbursts in the air… Bless the little children. Flow, you should. Flowers, flowers – try again. In London’s towers cry again. So on you go, forgetting all your passwords. I ran so fast, you ran so far, let’s run away, let’s fly to Spain, let’s eat a clam, let’s buy a car. I ran so fast, you ran so far. This is no last hurrah! We ran so fast, we’ve come so far. Make your world of string and paper, send it past the rooftops. Dance into it, not glance into it – boldly advance into it! Leave your footprints in the sound of windchimes. I may have said everything I have to say in the solo of the last song Now I’m waiting for someone else to speak up

Songs, and stories, inspired by Scambot 1. Produced by me, Mike Keneally… ...and let’s, uh, let’s go down this song list here...oh first, uh – let’s listen to this guitar solo. I like this solo. Scambot! (guitar solo from background track of “It Begins” plays) All right. Let me start this over. (“It Begins” backing track starts over) Cool. Um. So, first thing on the disc here is a little intro, with uh...the jingle in the background there was, uh, recorded at Rick Musallam’s place. Rick is playing some guitar and he engineered also. And, uh, Lee Graham let me use his clavichord – thank you Lee. Then we have the second track, it’s called “Ahmmm...Ms. Loring…,” and, um...that’s me on all the instruments recorded here at Chatfield Manor, engineered by Mike Harris. And then I recorded the voices later. The third song is called “Tiny Red Bug,” and that was, uh...the basic tracks were recorded with uhh Rick Musallam and Bryan Beller and Joe Travers...and me. The Mike Keneally Band, playing at, uh, Remora Recorders, engineered by Tom Trefethen. Ah, that was uhhh, 2008, early-ish? 2008? we did those recordings and then um, took that here to Chatfield Manor, and uhh, Mike Harris engineered me doing a bunch of overdubs and I recorded the voices. Fourth track is a reduction mix, a karaoke mix of “Tomorrow,” which was Scott Chatfield’s concept and execution. From an original Mike Harris mix. The fifth track – “It Begins” – in fact the music that you’re hearing in the background right now is from the background of, uh, “It Begins,” actually – and, uh, that’s the theme from the television program “Scambot,” brought to you by GAS, (laughs) and features me on all instruments except for somme drummms? done by Marco Minnemann at his place, engineered by him, and most of my parts were engineered by me at home, some overdubs engineered by Mike Harris at Chatfield Manor. And the sixth track is “Hallmark Fantasia,” that’s just me messing with a bunch of uhh...discrete elements from the song “Hallmark” which Scott Chatfield separated out from the original Mike Harris mix. The seventh track is “Broken Chair.” Song number seven. “Broken Chair.” And that was, um...the acoustic guitars were recorded...uhh...engineered by Mike Harris and then I did the, uh, the vocals, I engineered the vocals here while I was doing all the weird voices and crazy editing on the whole rest of this disc, sitting here. By myself. (sigh) Doing a buncha weird stuff. And then the eighth track is “Twinge” – primarily recorded by myself, playing all the instruments both in Jonny’s Room* and here at the Manor. And, uh, we overdubbed Marco Minnemann doing drums at his drum recording place. That he has. Engineered by HIM. And then that recording was brought back here to the Manor and Mike Harris overdubbed me doing a little bit more stuff and then he mixed...the whole...melange. *that’s what I was calling my home studio at the time And then the ninth track is the demo for “Saturate.” Recorded here at the Manor in 2003, I think. Engineered by me – well, a little additional engineering by Mike Harris. Rolled off some low end for y’all. And then I overdubbed some voices here. The tenth track – “Some Crazy Mishap” – uh, is, uhhhh some more background music from “It Begins,” engineered by me, recorded at home and here at the Manor, with assistance from Mike Harris at various steps along the way. The eleventh track – “The 3rd Eye” – uhhh me on all instruments, all recorded here at Chatfield Manor, engineered by Mike Harris, except for the voices, engineered by me. Sitting here by myself doing all this stuff. And I should also mention this note (a clavichord note plays) which was, uhh, engineered by Rick Musallam at Rick’s place. On Lee’s clavichord. Part of those jingles that keep popping up. Like zo (a jingle is heard). We recorded a LOT of those. Then that single clavichord note was heavily manipulated by me. Via editing manipulation. Like ZO (a melody formed from a sequence of manipulated single clavichord notes is heard). And then the twelfth track is a 2006 Scott Chatfield mix of “Hallmark” as it was originally, uhhh, intended for the acoustic record that we were gonna make a while ago – a Keneally/Beller acoustic record. But then that song was heavily expanded upon, we overdubbed Marco and Evan on it and turned it into more of an extravaganza – it was gonna be a stripped-down thing and that’s what it, is. And that’s what it WAS and now you can HEAR it. Track twelve. “Hallmark.” And, there you go! Hope that this was an entertaining thing for you. And, uhh, if you were curious about hall – how all these songs fit into the, uh, the concept of “Scambot” just read your liner notes carefully...it’s all there… Oh and tomorrow, uhhh, July 21st, Mike Harris is gonna come back, give this album the once-over, and then he and I and Scott will master it. Okay! That’s good. Talk to you later. Bye. Songs and stories from Scambot 1.