A reminder to meditate. Well, maybe a butterfly in ice Or maybe something more eloquent Or maybe shut up Or maybe calm down And loosen that muscle you seem to believe that you Have to, like, ratchet to untested agony Or maybe stop twitching Be still, fool, and breathe You know it’s the right thing to do Oh, Scambot

(This part of the story is now told in “Forget About It” and “Pretzels” on Scambot 2. Here’s how the narrative originally played out in this song): ...Govin watches everything with great interest as he hovers a foot off the ground. He watches for 30 seconds, then meditates for 30 seconds, goes back and forth like that for a while. He begins putting thoughts together in his head to form the skeletal underpinning of the beginning of a seed of a plan. GOVIN (proceeding stealthily on the periphery of the hullabaloo): [Not sung, but played by lead guitar] I will Take two steps forward And I will Take two steps forward That’s four in total That’s four in total That’s four in total I will Keep my eye on that guy I will I will have a talk with God Have a talk with God GOD: You know what to do You know what to do Fireworks Govin flies across the sky pretty much like Tinkerbell on The Wonderful World Of Disney. The entire sky is then filled with a still frame from an animated graphic; the frame that appears in every episode of Beany And Cecil, announcing that the forthcoming entertainment treat is to be “A Bob Clampett Cartoon.” Scambot, Ophunji, Wrangthorn, Kootch, The Quiet Children, Ami, Quaigo, the soldiers, and the seagulls all look up and see this, and the incongruity of the situation propels them into instant celebration. They all start in to dancing and a-singing together. PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY: Soon we will discover The depth of what we got Take some time Ease your mind Sure can help a lot I feel like a greyhound I feel like I’m free Take your time Ease your mind Sure feels good to me KOOTCH (watching Ami. Clearly longing for her. The fact that she has seen him at his worst is miserable for him. His celebratory zeal is so easily deflated and it goes flat again): She doesn’t care She doesn’t even know you’re there I’m on the dungeon floor Ankle deep in gore It’s not insanity It’s my reality I’ll be here On the side With pots and pans Clanging Scambot has been entirely broken of his compulsion to kill Campland Standish. How pointless would that be? Why do anything this dwid Ophunji wants him to do? Scambot feels like himself for the first time in a while, and while he’s never been his own favorite person he enjoys the sensation, if only for the contrast it’s providing. SCAMBOT (riffing around, feeling his oats): Some folks are born Actually all folks are We all were formed From the same star And we are sworn To do right By each other Stand tight With each other Not throw stones Or break each other’s bones Break the chain instead You break the chain instead This is one big crowd scene With fire and flame You are one big lounge scene And this ain’t a game You must do right By each other Stand tight With each other Don’t break heads Break the chain instead Eventually the QC bust out acoustic guitars and the partying recedes to a mellow burble. It really feels for a minute like everyone might be getting along.

(A severely alternate version of “Salve-Dependent Scorpions” from The Scambot Holiday Special EP.)

Tom, the tiny red bug, is flying around looking at everything that’s happening to Scambot and relating his impressions of it all to God. Govin composes this piece based on Tom’s reportage and names it after him. Tom is touched.

Awesome...

(A deleted scene. This would probably have come right after “Cram.”) During the revelry, the Quiet Children who aren’t playing acoustic guitars sneak back down to their media center/ lair and find that Barno is freaking out over losing the last 90 minutes of work he did on his laptop. The QC spontaneously launch into an idiotic “save your work” anthem they wrote a few years earlier for an elementary school assembly. 1, 2, 3 and say it! Back it up! Your shopping list A test for school A sign that stops you From whizzing in the pool A naked picture Of a Martian shark Can’t re-use it If you lose it To the data dark 3 and say it! Back it up! I remember When I was ten and three And I had written up the perfect piece of poetry Then the power’s failing And the words are sailing And I will never e’er remember what I wrote for thee 3 and say it! Back it up Y’all look so beautiful, buttercup Back it up Y’all look so beautiful, buttercup 3 and say it! Back it up Before you pack it up Then you can stack it up High upon the stack And rack it up After you whack it up You can tack it up Right there in the back Back it up! 3 and say it!